I don't know how many parts this "note jotting" will take, because the more I think about it, the more I have to say about it. So now I will continue writing until I get tired of hearing my own voice in my head.
I want to talk about some of my personal challenges/goals/opportunities I had over the last several months. The first 3 months my goal was to make it through P90X. And thinking back to that, it seems like a really long time ago. I did really well the first month and a half. The last month and a half was pretty hard because by that time I was working and getting tired of the same workouts. I didn't have the amazing results you see advertised, but I did feel so much better and stronger. I went from doing 0 pull ups to 2. And for that I am proud of myself.
I started working at the temp agency and had to find my way around and island that was completely foreign to me. I had to figure out the bus system. And on weekends when I was in Waikiki, I had to get lost about 189456 times before I finally bought a GPS. It sucks when you have no idea where you are going, and nobody to call. But I finally feel like I can find my way around after being here for almost a year. Reason it's difficult to get around? The road names are Hawaiian names (most of them sound the same to me). You have to go on all these back roads to get to certain highways. And just because the highway has an exit at a certain place doesn't necessarily mean it's going to have an on ramp at that same place. And when it gets dark, I can't see where the ocean or mountains are, and I lose all sense of direction.
I had opportunities to travel. California for a month and Georgia for a month. I don't think I would've made those trips had Spencer been here. I've already written plenty of details about both trips, so I'll spare you those details this time around. You can read about it here, here, here and here.But I am very grateful for friends and family that hosted me for such long periods of times. Seriously, those 2 months helped out immensely.
I took on all of Spencer's responsibilities. I was not really looking forward to this part. There are things that I just don't like to do. Like take out the trash. That is Spencer's job. And any car issues. Spencer's. When stressful situations come up, I usually just emotionally collapse and let Spencer deal with it. He is the problem solver in our relationship. So when I get the letter from the IRS saying that we owed them nearly $2500 from 2007, I just wanted to give up. I wanted to ignore the situation. Play dead and see if the situation would just fix itself. But obviously that would not help the matter. After doing a lot of research (and complaining), I finally found out there were some errors, wrote the IRS, and got it lowered to $700. Not bad. It was a pain, but I guess it is just part of being an adult. I ended up selling Spencer's car (with his consent) by myself, and had to get my car's registration renewed. The registration sounds simple, but when you are trying to get out of a $200 weight tax for Hawaii, and your Power of Attorney is slightly flawed, it becomes quite a complicated situation (thank you again Gary and Denise for being willing to help so last minute). I dealt with water leaks, broken ice machines, computer problems, and cockroaches(thankfully we are renting, so none of those expenses were out of our pocket). I paid all the bills. On time. I dealt with any issues our tenants in Covington had (which were not very many...so happy to have good tenants...finally!). I did all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry (which I realize is not bad when it's only for myself). And I'm not sure why I'm using parenthesis in every single sentence. Forgive me.
We definitely had a great opportunity to save some money. I had opportunities to explore the island. My friend Jen and I have covered most of the main beaches already. I had opportunities to challenge myself, meet new people, try new foods, and experience a completely new and different culture. I challenged myself by signing up for an 8 mile race when I have never run 8 miles before. But I trained for several weeks and made it through the race in a decent time. I made it to church by myself every single Sunday (almost). And on time (most of the time).
A lot of people have told me "I could never do what you are doing". Well, 3 years ago I would've said the exact same thing. I never saw this coming. But when Spencer decided this is what he wanted, and convinced me that he felt right about it and it was a smart decision for his future, I agreed. I called up my cousin who was married to a military man and got her take on military life. She told me that she handled deployments alright because she was independent. She got married a little older, and already had a life she was living. She had a house, a good job, and got by on her own. So once she was married, and he was deployed, she just reverted back to her life before marriage, and she was fine. Maybe it's the competitive spirit in me, but after I had talked to her, I thought to myself if she can do it, so can I! So I took on that mindset. I had never been independent in my LIFE before. Even at college, I wouldn't leave my apartment unless I had at least asked someone to go with me. I was always counting on a friend or family member to support me. So this deployment was a huge challenge for me to see if I had the capability to be independent. I've come to the conclusion that being independent is quite fun. I get to watch tv whenever I want, go out whenever I want, sleep in whenever I want, and not ever have to worry about what anybody else is thinking. Don't get me wrong, I still prefer a life with Spencer than without him, but I have learned how to at least enjoy life on my own. I feel like it's been a great character building experience for me to really push myself and at least try to be the person I've wanted to become, with no outside influence.
And now I am tired of talking about myself. Again, this is for documenting. Still more to come. Next one is all about Spencer.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Surviving Our First Deployment 2009-2010 Part 1
We're on the home stretch. Finally. And while this deployment is not over quite yet, I wanted to jot a few notes about this time of separation between Spencer and me. I want this to look back on and remember how I handled things. And please note - I am not writing this to get people to feel sorry for us. We knew what we were getting in to when we signed up for the military. And just remember where we live during all of this...
At this point we haven't seen each other in over 7 months. At times it feels like it has been forever, but overall, it has gone by somewhat fast. Somewhat. Now I can only speak for myself since he has been in a completely different world that I have during this time. I'll try to get him to write about his side at some point.
It seems as though the first and last months are the hardest. By far. The first month for obvious reasons. Knowing that you have many lonely times ahead of you. Not knowing if your relationship will change. Knowing you have to take on all of his responsibilities. Not knowing when you will get the next phone call.
The last month (or so) has been the hardest. Not because I'm more lonely, or more difficult things have happened, it's only because I'm inpatient. I don't want to wait any longer now that the end is in sight. I feel like I have waited long enough. We have found that the best solution for these last few weeks are what we call auto pilot mode. Have you seen the movie Click? Then you know what I mean. Just zone out the life around you. Eat, sleep, work out, and sit on the beach. And just wait for time to pass.
Now on to the in between months. It was during this time I felt the most comfortable. I was learning how to cope with the situation, and I knew how long I had to be Miss (Mrs.) Independent. Well, that was until we found out he got extended for 2 months.
On average we usually got to email several times a day, and talk on the phone once or twice on weekends. I trained myself to not expect more than that so that anything more was just a bonus. The phone calls usually lasted over an hour unless the phone lines were cut off for various reasons. That happened ALL the time. So frustrating to get cut off and then not know if he can call right back. I mean, how long do you wait by the phone? And speaking of phone calls, some of the times I was most sad is when I realized I had missed calls from him. Around the holidays, there were times he would sit by the phone waiting for up to 30 minutes trying to get a dial tone. And then when he finally gets through, and I don't answer....it's a sad day for both of us. My brother in law Pete suggested I change the ring tone to a loud annoying alarm when Spencer called so I made sure to never miss it. I did that, and my number of missed calls from him has significantly decreased. So thank you Pete. This suggestion came after I missed a call 2 days before Christmas while playing basketball. Spencer said in the message "I hope you guys are having fun. Not sure if I'll be able to call in the next few days, so have a Merry Christmas....". I did not handle that well. But luckily he did get to call Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Thank goodness. And just to note, I always had to wait for his call. I was not allowed to call him. It was completely one sided.
For Christmas I got us both webcams so we could finally Skype each other. That actually helped a ton to be able to hold a real conversation with each other (by real I mean SEEING facial expressions, SEEING reactions to jokes, and just knowing that he's still the same Spencer that I married). We were able to video chat only when he was on a port stop. When he's not at a port stop, he can't use his personal computer - only his work computer. The purchase of the web cams was totally worth it (thanks Kristi), even if we only started using them more than half way through.
While I feel like I sent a good amount of packages, I wish I would have sent more. A group of wives had a little thing going where we would send calendar squares to our guys every month. I didn't make it close to every month, but it was a cute idea. It was basically just a decorated page of pictures that they would post on a giant calendar thing on the boat. The first time I sent a package it got there in less than a week. That was the only one that got there that quickly. The others took up to a month. I tried sending cookies, dollies, candy, etc. Most of it didn't make it all the way without getting crushed to pieces or just ruined because of how long it took. At times I felt it was a wasted effort, but in the future I think I'll just be more mindful of what to send.
Though our communication was limited, I feel like we still maintained a strong connection with each other. I'm about to get mushy on you. We never missed a chance to tell each other how much we loved each other. Every phone call, email, and letter had our affection stamped all over it. Being so far apart from each other has it's obvious downers, but this is one thing that I actually loved about it. When you are with each other all day every day, you get comfortable. You email each other to get a specific message sent. You call to ask for favors. You just have an understanding that you know that you love each other. I'm sure we will be back to those days of comfort in no time, but for now, I am enjoying expressing my love at every possible chance.
Looking at how long this already is, I've decided to break this up into different parts. It's a little more detailed than I had planned. There is plenty more to say, so stay tuned...
At this point we haven't seen each other in over 7 months. At times it feels like it has been forever, but overall, it has gone by somewhat fast. Somewhat. Now I can only speak for myself since he has been in a completely different world that I have during this time. I'll try to get him to write about his side at some point.
It seems as though the first and last months are the hardest. By far. The first month for obvious reasons. Knowing that you have many lonely times ahead of you. Not knowing if your relationship will change. Knowing you have to take on all of his responsibilities. Not knowing when you will get the next phone call.
The last month (or so) has been the hardest. Not because I'm more lonely, or more difficult things have happened, it's only because I'm inpatient. I don't want to wait any longer now that the end is in sight. I feel like I have waited long enough. We have found that the best solution for these last few weeks are what we call auto pilot mode. Have you seen the movie Click? Then you know what I mean. Just zone out the life around you. Eat, sleep, work out, and sit on the beach. And just wait for time to pass.
Now on to the in between months. It was during this time I felt the most comfortable. I was learning how to cope with the situation, and I knew how long I had to be Miss (Mrs.) Independent. Well, that was until we found out he got extended for 2 months.
On average we usually got to email several times a day, and talk on the phone once or twice on weekends. I trained myself to not expect more than that so that anything more was just a bonus. The phone calls usually lasted over an hour unless the phone lines were cut off for various reasons. That happened ALL the time. So frustrating to get cut off and then not know if he can call right back. I mean, how long do you wait by the phone? And speaking of phone calls, some of the times I was most sad is when I realized I had missed calls from him. Around the holidays, there were times he would sit by the phone waiting for up to 30 minutes trying to get a dial tone. And then when he finally gets through, and I don't answer....it's a sad day for both of us. My brother in law Pete suggested I change the ring tone to a loud annoying alarm when Spencer called so I made sure to never miss it. I did that, and my number of missed calls from him has significantly decreased. So thank you Pete. This suggestion came after I missed a call 2 days before Christmas while playing basketball. Spencer said in the message "I hope you guys are having fun. Not sure if I'll be able to call in the next few days, so have a Merry Christmas....". I did not handle that well. But luckily he did get to call Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Thank goodness. And just to note, I always had to wait for his call. I was not allowed to call him. It was completely one sided.
For Christmas I got us both webcams so we could finally Skype each other. That actually helped a ton to be able to hold a real conversation with each other (by real I mean SEEING facial expressions, SEEING reactions to jokes, and just knowing that he's still the same Spencer that I married). We were able to video chat only when he was on a port stop. When he's not at a port stop, he can't use his personal computer - only his work computer. The purchase of the web cams was totally worth it (thanks Kristi), even if we only started using them more than half way through.
While I feel like I sent a good amount of packages, I wish I would have sent more. A group of wives had a little thing going where we would send calendar squares to our guys every month. I didn't make it close to every month, but it was a cute idea. It was basically just a decorated page of pictures that they would post on a giant calendar thing on the boat. The first time I sent a package it got there in less than a week. That was the only one that got there that quickly. The others took up to a month. I tried sending cookies, dollies, candy, etc. Most of it didn't make it all the way without getting crushed to pieces or just ruined because of how long it took. At times I felt it was a wasted effort, but in the future I think I'll just be more mindful of what to send.
Though our communication was limited, I feel like we still maintained a strong connection with each other. I'm about to get mushy on you. We never missed a chance to tell each other how much we loved each other. Every phone call, email, and letter had our affection stamped all over it. Being so far apart from each other has it's obvious downers, but this is one thing that I actually loved about it. When you are with each other all day every day, you get comfortable. You email each other to get a specific message sent. You call to ask for favors. You just have an understanding that you know that you love each other. I'm sure we will be back to those days of comfort in no time, but for now, I am enjoying expressing my love at every possible chance.
Looking at how long this already is, I've decided to break this up into different parts. It's a little more detailed than I had planned. There is plenty more to say, so stay tuned...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day Spencer
I love you.
Birthday on the beach
I was told that yesterday all but 1 of the 50 states had snow. And the last few days, I've been overwhelmed by all of the pictures and status updates about snow on facebook. Snow this and snow that. Snow Snow Snow. Snow is beautiful, but as I've said before, I'd rather see sand than snow any day.
So with that being said, I invited a few friends to enjoy a nice day at the beach for my birthday. Since I have a winter birthday, this was the first time I was able to be warm and in a bathing suit for the occasion. These are my friends (L to R) Kim, (me), Yuliette, her daughter Nicole, and Jen. I'm not sure why we all decided to kneel with our hands in our laps. But I promise we like each other...
After the beach, my friend Jen wanted to take me out for dinner and a movie. Her husband is Spencer's roommate on the boat. So we have spent most of our weekends together as we are both husbandless. We ate at Zia's, a ridiculously delicious Italian restaurant, and then went and saw Valentine's Day.
Thanks to all who called, texted, facebooked, emailed, etc. I felt the love. And Spencer made sure he made up for not being there as well. So don't you worry about that. I'm definitely grateful for great friends and family.
And for today, Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you all tell those that you love just how much you love them. Cheesy? Yes. But important.
So with that being said, I invited a few friends to enjoy a nice day at the beach for my birthday. Since I have a winter birthday, this was the first time I was able to be warm and in a bathing suit for the occasion. These are my friends (L to R) Kim, (me), Yuliette, her daughter Nicole, and Jen. I'm not sure why we all decided to kneel with our hands in our laps. But I promise we like each other...
After the beach, my friend Jen wanted to take me out for dinner and a movie. Her husband is Spencer's roommate on the boat. So we have spent most of our weekends together as we are both husbandless. We ate at Zia's, a ridiculously delicious Italian restaurant, and then went and saw Valentine's Day.
Thanks to all who called, texted, facebooked, emailed, etc. I felt the love. And Spencer made sure he made up for not being there as well. So don't you worry about that. I'm definitely grateful for great friends and family.And for today, Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you all tell those that you love just how much you love them. Cheesy? Yes. But important.
Monday, February 01, 2010
Lost Fans - This one's for YOU!
Hi all you crazies. All you anonymous commenters. I just wanted to let you know that I saw the first hour of Lost yesterday. I know what happens. I know a secret. I saw the cast. Almost every main character. I have some pretty dang good pictures of them too. I even sat next to a guy who is a character in the 2nd hour and told me some other things about what happens. But guess what - I'm not sharing them with you, because you are crazy and you went a little too far last time I did post pictures. So I guess you'll have to go find other blogs of people who were there. Then you can invade THEIR privacy and pass ridiculous judgments on THEM, because it's not happening to me again! PEACE.
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