The First Few Weeks of Being a Mother

The first few weeks of being a mother have proven to be exhausting, joyful, challenging, emotional, and overall pretty surreal.

The first night home was probably one of the most paranoid nights of our lives. We have a pack 'n play/bassinet in our room that she slept in. I didn't get any sleep that night because I was worried she would stop breathing. There is nothing quite like that first night full of worry for this innocent little baby. She slept propped up in her boppy in our bed for a little while, but then I was paranoid because I know you're not supposed to let them sleep in them for risk of suffocation. Then she slept in my arms for a while. I found she slept best that way. I slept better as well because I could just open my eyes and see that she was ok instead of grab my phone for a light and get out of bed to check on her. I also liked feeling her move in her sleep because it reminded me of when I was pregnant and would feel her move as I tried to sleep.

I made it through the first few nights on our own before my parents came to visit with only one breakdown. There was a night when Eleanor decided she didn't remember how to nurse. She was so worked up and I couldn't sooth her. And I knew she needed to eat, but she wouldn't. And I got frustrated. Knowing that she wanted to eat, but wouldn't, and knowing that she needed soothing, but I couldn't. And if you could hear this girl's cry - you'd understand. She already has a reputation at her pediatrician's office for her heart wrenching, out of control screaming. She eventually calmed down, but only after a long period of crying on her part and patience on ours. These little babies can hard to figure out sometimes.

My parents came and went, and oh how they were appreciated!! Eleanor slept in their room. My mom brought her to me when it was time to eat, then took her back and changed diapers, put her back to sleep, etc. Those extra hours of sleep for me were priceless. My dad took the morning shift since he had a hard time adjusting to the time difference. And they loved on her every second they could while they were here. We already miss them like crazy.

Other things I have learned in the first few weeks: She loves the car (thank goodness!! let's hope it lasts!). She has about 7 different facial expressions she makes when she's trying to wake up. I swear she looks older every time she wakes up. She never spits up, but she had one day where she threw up twice. And another day when she projectile vomited. It was pretty horrific. Luckily it missed me and only hit the couch and floor. Our swing is a miracle worker. It gives us a few hours of free time or nap time every day. And last night I had her sleep in it, and she gave me a good 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Heaven. I love her cute little coughs. And when she cries so hard that her mouth curls up and her voice gets raspy. She has gone through at least 2-3 outfits every day due to diaper explosions. I'm pretty excited for those to slow down. She hates getting her diaper changed. She likes baths sometimes. I am amazed at how I can still function on such little sleep. Some days I do feel a bit shaky or lightheaded, but for the most part, you find a way to make it work. And not even just make it work, but I enjoy getting up at all hours of the night to feed her and just watch her. Spencer is a changed man. Never imagined seeing him so in love with a baby. But he is smitten. And it is the sweetest thing. I am amazed at how quickly my body was able to heal after delivery. I was feeling great after about 4 or 5 days. But I realize that can be deceiving, so I've still been taking it easy. I still can't believe I have my very own baby. It is such a crazy reality to accept. So surreal. But she is beautiful and such a blessing in our home. Taking care of a newborn is seriously hard work. Mostly because of the lack of sleep issue. But we are so in love with this girl. I have already learned so much about her and how to take care of her in such a short amount of time. Spencer and I are learning together and have gotten so much closer because of it.

If this post seemed a bit scrambled, well, I don't apologize. Just wanted to get some thoughts down while I had some free time. And I want to remember this crazy/delirious time of my life. Because I know I'll miss it when she gets bigger and older.