Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Letting Go and 28 Weeks

We've made it to the 28 week mark, which is a big deal in the triplet world. Viability skyrockets - so the babies have a very good chance at survival if they were to be born now. Also, today marks 2 weeks in the hospital - and surprisingly, it's gone by pretty quickly. Small victories!

If you have a little girl at home, you might be hearing the phrase "Let it Go" a million times a day. I know I do. It's her favorite song. The more I hear it, the more I think about how it relates to my current situation. 

I've had to let go of a lot. Mentally and physically. Luckily I had some time to prepare for it. When I found out I was having triplets, I knew I would experience a lot of change, so I've tried to anticipate these changes with a positive attitude. 

Physically, I've had to accept the fact that my stomach would never look the same. Ever. I started growing very quickly - even right after I got my positive pregnancy test. And us Cheesman girls - when we get pregnant, we don't have cute little petite baby bumps. We get pretty large. Even with one. So I knew I would get massive with 3. And I have. This past week the stretch marks have started taking over. It's like one day my skin decided it had reached it's limit. Ever since then I have seen new marks every single day. While it is hard to accept and look at, I try to tell myself that the more stretch marks I am seeing, the bigger my stomach is getting, which means the more the babies are growing. And that's what I want! I am a little nervous because I still want to make it 4+ more weeks, and I can't really imagine what my stomach will look like at that point. But again, I'm letting go. Now is not the time to worry about stretch marks and future saggy skin.

I've also had to let go of any and all productive goals I had set. It is hard not to be home washing baby clothes and getting things ready for the babies. It's hard to not be taking pictures both for clients and myself. It's hard to not be the one at home potty training my 2 year old(although I'm sure many parents would love to hand that duty to someone else...*duty - get it?). It's hard to sit in a bed all day and try to think of things that I can do to make me feel productive - like organizing emails, pictures, etc. blogging, online shopping, etc. However, I am letting go. I am telling myself that I will never get a time like this to just relax. Relax and grow these babies. When I really think about it, this just might be the absolute most productive time in my life. A time so crucial to these 3 lives. Everything I do, don't do, eat, don't eat, etc. effects them for the rest of their lives. My goal is to give them the healthiest possible start to life, which means I HAVE to lay here and be what I used to think of as unproductive. 

Being pregnant with triplets is not easy. Being on bed rest is not easy. But I do want to make one thing clear. I'm no hero for doing this. I don't consider myself strong or superwoman for going through all this. I'm doing what ANYONE would do if in my same situation. I'm doing what is necessary. I have a lot of people who tell me these things, but I know that they would do the exact same thing if they had 3 lives in their hands(or belly). 

The 'Letting Go' will not stop once the babies are born. As you can imagine, life will probably be quite hectic once we are home with all 3. I'll write about it when the time comes, but for now, I will just have to prepare myself for what's to come. 


1 comment:

The Imperfect Pie said...

This is beautiful. Love that you are journaling this to look back on. I still think you are heroic--for your positive attitude alone.